The film, ‘Adolescence,’ has focused minds, possibly in a way never seen before, but has anything changed? Has there even been time for change? When a lack of capacity in an overstretched system means signs of alienation from society go unnoticed or are noticed but not addressed, courts continue to deal with end-result crimes. 

And where does this leave us all?

As parents, we may believe we have brought up our own children properly, have taught them the values and skills needed to prosper in our ever-increasingly complicated world, and that may well be true. But we don’t exist in a vacuum. We can still become the victims of those who haven’t benefitted from such stability and, yes, love.

There are no easy answers and no ‘one size fits all’ remedy. But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s enough to ‘show up.’ To be the stability a child needs, to give them a second chance, and to show them they are loved.

In Mute Swans, teenager Ryan, in 2005, became disaffected after his father left home following the discovery that he wasn’t the boy’s father. Ryan had a mother who couldn’t cope, and a natural father who lived outside society’s norms. Ryan became involved in small-scale drug dealing until his half-brother stepped in and offered him both a home and a positive role model. 

That was fiction, and set over 20 years ago, but isn’t it even more important nowadays that someone does ‘show up?’
I’ve always believed that steady love, even when late or complicated, can alter a life’s direction. 

Sometimes what saves us isn’t a grand gesture. It’s someone deciding not to walk away